we're wondering how

we overlook most important things in life, thinking they're just because. no signs. life is what you make it, people would say. i like to believe things are thrown at you telling you what to do. there's a certain path for everyone, for everything. things happen for a reason and it's not because you made it good, bad, happy, or confusing. it's because that thing came to you and made it that way. you didn't bring it here. the best things in life are often the small things. that's one cliche i believe. love. hope. excitement. no one can beat that. but they're all fragile. they break easy. the most delicate of all things. but without the best and without a fight, what's life? no sadness, no experience. literally nothing. we, us, people, can't seem to hold up the fight. to quit is to show others just how weak we can really be. we all just need inspiration, some have to fight for it. and those few lucky people get it thrown at them. we search for it everywhere. music, photos, people. i say that we are on the pursuit of inspiration, but this particular pursuit may be the breaking point. it may be the root of all things meaningless. everything empty, nothing to believe in. it will make or break you. all i can say is good luck, and don't overlook the small things. they can make the biggest joys.

this is so wrong, i can't go on

it's times like these when you stare at your feet. you're speechless, and you don't know how you got there. jumping to conclusions isn't healthy. we think the wrong things, assume the worst, it's not right, but it is normal. going back to the same things, jumping to the same places. it hurts. because you tell people something, on the inside you're dieing but you can't say that or all hell would break loose. it's that feeling that's inside of you and you don't tell anyone about it. because it's a huge pit of regret. which takes you back to the part where you're feeling speechless, staring at your feet. in love, and it's sickening.

i just haven't met you yet

aifenrguiwhoesfnjgnkdddddddfkbvisnsdifnagons.

that's how i feel right now.

here's to you - jeff piattelli

these city streets, where the street lights sleep, and the lonely homes that sit alone. things aren't always as they seem, when we fall asleep and dream about our secrets, about our regrets and i wont forget this year. we wiped away our tears and we shared a sense of hope in those times we needed most. and no matter where we are no matter where we've been, you know through thick and thin, this ones for you. and as we grow older, move forward and faster, this life's a disaster but it's filled with laughter. so ill keep on doing the best that i can, being the bigger man, i just don't understand how we drank away our tears and we calmed ourselves in smoke. in those times when things were hazy and we had lost our hope. no matter where we are and no matter where we've been, you know through thick and thin, this ones for you. here's to you, here's to you. and all the things we do here's to you. we've all gone our separate ways, what happened to the days, our brand new socks and broken hearts and doing it anyways. it seems like yesterday, we were sitting in the haze, trying things out for the very first time. we had a lot on the go we had to get it off our mind. we were all laid back, take it all in, reminisce about where we've been, everything we have seen and everything in between and our old best friends. we've all wiped away our tears, we shared a sense of hope, in those times when things were hazy and we had lost our hope. no matter where we are and no matter where we've been, you know through thick and thin, this one's for you. they say everything that glitters ain't always gold but that ain't a fact, it's just what i'm told. and as we sit here as the story unfolds as this weather gets cold i know, this was one hell of a year. we wiped away our tears and we shared a sense of hope in those times we needed most. and no matter where we are, no matter where we've been, this one's for you.

hello world i'm your wild girl

happy420. couple of things.

1` this kind of is confusing for me. because i feel like each and every day i'm liking you a little bit less, and liking him a little bit more. it's weird, because i still feel jealous when i see you with other girls, but it's like when i'm with you i'm kinda just like "okay. that's cool, we're friends" and when i'm around him it's like ":D" i don't know why all of the sudden. it just seems like with you, i try and i try but in the end you just don't want me. so i don't know what it is. but i guess that's okay. but with him, he seems interested, wants to talk, wants to hang out, so maybe this is a different path. either way i'm fine with it, like i deserve to be happy. so that's what i'm going to be. but it's cool, cause i love talking to you guys, so whatev :)

2` i'm glad we talked today, because it cleared a lot up, and now i'm not believing someone elses rumours. so no big at all with that anymore. i'm glad you care about me enough not to do that.

3` it seems like you're pissed at me because i joke around and make fun of him. it's not serious at all. i just don't know if i should hang out with you guys when you're together, or go find someone else to hang out with, because i don't know if you want to hang out alone or not. it gets quiet a lot and i feel like it has to do with the fact that i'm there. i don't know. i just want what you want. i want you to be happy.

going back to honoloulou

just a little photography for you all

all taken by yours truly

i'm solo, ridin' solo

i don't regret my decision :) its made me happy. and it's weird. i realized that maybe i'm not even ready for being with someone. even though all along it's what i always said i wanted. but i don't know. now it just doesn't seem like i'm ready for that. either way, i don't care anymore. it's grade 10. i'm 15. somehow being with someone is the only way a teenage girl can be happy? i don't think so. i don't need to be in an intense relationship. i'm supposed to have fun. thaat's what i'm gonna do.

in those times when things were hazy

it's been a while. hereeeee we go.

i think i'm done. it's not working out. i keep thinking back to when you said "if we can make it" and now i think, we tried, and we can't make it. i thought we would. but when you don't talk to me all day after being kind of dick-ish in the morning, i think that's a sign. you lost interest. and i understand that completely, but save us both the trouble and just get it over with. i know you regret telling me you liked me, because so far it's been 7 days and i'm already asking if you're upset. and i'm REALLY tired of hearing the excuses you have been telling me. just get it over with, i think it was better when we were friends. now i'm the one that wants to tell you how i feel, and that i think it's better to be friends. i can't believe i've moved on so quickly...

on the other hand, i can't believe i'm still hanging on. you're just so easy to talk to. and it's so easy not to think about things when i am talking to you. it's like a little escape. sometimes i even get in that mood where you're the only one i want to talk to cause you always seem to be able to make me smile. i'm clearly not over you. but i just want to be friends with you. it makes me happy knowing you're there for me. you're a great guy. i'm so glad to have you.

you love me for who i am

i'm confused. so confused. i know i like you. that's one thing i know. but then on the other hand, i don't know at all how you feel. i thought i did. but clearly not. when we first started talking, it was like something about me changed. i felt like i was kind of important, maybe a little bit pretty, someone who a guy would want to date. and then a week went by, two weeks, and all was good. we talked all the time, all the time except for sleep. and then that day came. we were supposed to hang out. then you slept it. then you texted me. and that's when i started getting confused. right after you asked me that one question, everything changed. i regret what i told you. i should have told you the truth. maybe that would have changed things. but i lied, because i was scared, i was nervous, i didn't know what to expect. it was so wrong of me. i should have told you how i felt. because i have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach now that you felt how i felt. and i lied because i was a chicken. a chicken to tell you the truth. i regret it so much, thinking about it now. i think it's too late, too. much too late. i ruined it. i wish i could have just told you how i felt. but i didn't and i'm ridiculous to think that if i did now, things would be any different. my eyes just fill up with tears thinking about it. i fucked up. i wish i could go back in time and tell you. maybe if i wasn't such a stupid girl. it was obvious. but i couldn't pick that up. and now i messed it up. but i need you. you make me happy, you make me feel better about myself, and a little bit stronger too. i miss what we had. a lot. it makes my heart ache how much i miss it.