cause i found a new hope from above

she stood there. the cold wind blowing into her face. he was staring at her feet. there had to be something interesting about them because everytime they found each other needing to have a talk that's always what he was looking at. as she shoved her clenched fists farther into the pockets of her dark purple pea coat she mumbled "what are we even doing here?" he continued to look right at her feet. in her head thoughts ran through, this is enough, why does he keep doing this to me?. right then she realized she was done, and turned around the walk away. suddenly she felt his hand burst away from his body and grasp her arm. "don't go, please." here he goes again. "what do you want from me now, i've waited for you, i've done everything i can so we can work, but time after time you just let me down, do you really want me?" she said softly. the look on his face was astonishing, yet she only saw it for the three brief seconds that she kept her face up. as she dropped her head, she felt his other arm grasp her other hand. "i don't want something from you, i just want you. you waited for me, for ME, you did so much for me, why would i move on, i think .. " he said strongly. "you think what?" she interrupted. "i think i'm in love with you.. actually... i know i am" he said quietly then immediately dropped his head. speechless, she stood there, in the freezing cold, with him, and that's all she needed.

i am not my own, for i have been made new.

; holy mother of pearl. who would have known i would have become soooo chicken this year. i had no problems last year! like what is this!

; okay sooooo pretty sure i've never layed eyes on such a finer sight in my life before.

; i feel somewhat guilty knowing that i'm kind of going back on some things i said. but you've changed a lot in the past, hmm, two years, and i miss the girl that i used to ride the bus with and have really good laughs with. but things have really changed and i'm starting to see the person you are becoming, and i'm proud of you for doing so well, but sometimes you just have to slow down, stop, and take a break, go back to what made you you, and go back to what took you here <3

am i home, or am i simply tumbling all alone?

- okay a few things because i haven't posted in a while!

; so to start i think that it's really lame of you to all of the sudden show interest again once you know that him and i are becoming good friends. like sure i might like him a bit, but that doesn't mean he likes me, because i highly doubt he does, so would you not do this to me please?

; i would be lost without two people.

SH. you are such an amazing person and i am so lucky to be able to call you my best friend. no matter what happens i will always stick by your side and i will never forget all the things you've done for me. you mean the world to me. i love you a ton. BJ. if i wouldn't have met you i would be pretty lost right now. when everything was shitty you were the one that was there for me, and you still are today. and even though we don't get to see each other every day, i know that it doesn't matter because i know i won't forget you, and i know you won't forget me. i love you a lot and i'm so glad to have you so close to me. thank you both for everything you have done for me. it's people like you that shape my life and make me who i am today.

; this is probably the most confusing thing right now. i hardcore need to figure this shit out, really soon. because things are getting complicated and twisted and it's going to be hard to untangle pretty soon.

well i still believe

; okay so i wanna give a big ups to a fewww people.

first of all,

sh. i love you tons, like buckets and buckets of love i could pour on you. thank you for being there for me no matter what. you are truly amazing.

bj. you are such a sweet girl and i love being able to talk to you and tell you anything. you're awesome, and without you i would be lost.

vs. we just met and already i know you're a bangin' chick. i love talking to you, you're hilarious! and a very cute girl!

tn. you made me smile when not that many people could. when i was so angry and wanted to beat the shit out of someone/something. thank you for that!

and lastly but not leastly,

jt. you make me laugh at the worst of times. no matter what. you're a truly awesome guy and i'm pretty glad that we're such good friends. thanks for being a goof and making me laugh.

i've never gone with the wind, just let it flow, let it take me where it wants to go

; so honestly i don't know why i keep getting jealous, becuase i shouldn't, i'm over you, i'm over it. i don't give a flying fuck anymore. but i just get jealous, and i don't even know why. i'm getting over it though, i'm not going to sit around and get mad at things and get mad at myself over some stupid little thing like this. it's not worth it. and i hate it say this and sound really rude, but you're not worth it, becuase you hurt me twice. and i haven't even known you that long. so honestly, what the fuck do you think you're doing. you have no idea what i feel becuase you're too immature for me to tell you. i should have never gotten involved with you in the first place. ugh. what was i thinking. i made such a big mistake, i wish i wouldn't have started highschool like this. i'm such an idiot sometimes. it's pretty sad. i just need to let go of it, let go of you, i'm not gonna talk to you anymore because from how you respond latley you don't want to talk to me. so i'm gonna go with it. and not make such an effort to be your friend anymore becuase you OBVIOUSLY don't want to be my friend. so i think i'm just gonna give up, officially this time. not like the time when i said i was going to but i didn't. this time i'm actually going to. i hope you're happy with the six thousand other girls you play these stupid games with. it hurts a lot.

he lies awake every night tryna' get it right in his head.

; i can't stop thinking about you and i don't know why. i don't like you that much becuase you're off limits and i can respect that. but why can't i get you out of my head? i'm worried about what you're doing becuase i don't know what she did to you. i just want to talk to you, or be with you, becuase that's what friends are for, and i'm definitely going to be there for you.

; jeff piattelli, you make my day.

all the bull shit you put me through.

; it's really bad that i am kind of happy, i feel like soo horrible for being somewhat excited. even though i know i don't even have a chance, it's still like i don't know i just have this feeling inside. but like for now i just want to be friends becuase i think you're a really amazing person no matter what you say.

; seriously you're a bitch. i should have never fallen for the act you put on. i had a feeling inside that it wasn't going to last, becuase i could already tell that you were changing. it's ridiculous how you think you can just treat us like that and we're going to just be fine with it and let you hang out with us. becuase we're not. we aren't stupid.. unlike you!

; okay i am finally glad that i think we are just friends but i want to hang out more, but hanging out usually triggers those things to happen and as much as i liked it, i don't want it to happen again becuase it caused me a lot of shit. so i think this time i'm going to FINALLY let go of it.

; i am so glad that you are my best friend. i can tell you anything, and i do. i tell you everything. all the time. and i'm not afraid to tell you when you're being a dork or an idiot becuase you do the same to me. and that's the kind of friendship that i like. where we can be brutally honest with each other and still love each other. so basically i'm super glad i have you.

jp.

basically,

every song jeff piattelli sings,

hits me in some way.

when i need a pick me up,

i just sing his songs,

beautiful things, listen in,

anything,

it makes me feel better.

this post is ded'ed to jeff piattelli,

for making my day just that bit better <3

=)

- i love you with all my heart. tonight was good. we had a really great talk.

- sooo basically this week is going to kick ass. i'm like hella stoked.

- aaaaaaah =)

i love you.

i love you.

and you never ever have to worry about someone taking me from you

becuase you mean the world to me,

and i'd do anything for you,

i love you with all my heart,

you're my sister, and you know that.

so don't ever forget it.

.

- i can't believe you, honestly, get over yourself, we aren't going to feel sorry for you.

- basically, you're super cute, and extremely funny, +++++

quote;

all i wanna do,

is feel your body,

next to mine

done.

i'm glad that i am finalllly done.

this is the end of the road.

but then i am so glad i know you.

because now i've got something to look forward to.

=)

this boy.

he sat there, staring at the cold hard concrete. it was dark, and smelled muggy. the fog was slowly thickening and there wasn't much time left before everything dissapeared in it. with the basketball beside him, he procrastinated. sure, he could touch rim, but could he dunk? thoughts rushing through his mind, and his palms getting sweaty he decided just to try it. if it didn't happen, then no one was there to see him right? right. as he rose up from the bench, and grabbed the ball, a sudden boost of confidence drove straight through him. not afraid anymore, he approached the hoop and went for it. driving down the concrete towards the hoop he sprung up, and slammed down with the basketball.

swish, swish.

some of my work.

so i aspire to be a photographer.

and here is some of my favourite pictures that i've taken.

http://i31.tinypic.com/28ups29.jpg

that is from my town on the lake.

http://i26.tinypic.com/295df13.jpg

this is in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

http://i28.tinypic.com/2v84hfa.jpg

this one is sadly not in Canada,

but in Seattle, Washington.

http://i26.tinypic.com/21ajq7k.jpg

once again, in Seattle, Washington.

http://i25.tinypic.com/334kmrs.jpg

this one is the Experience Music Project building,

in Seattle, Washington.

http://i27.tinypic.com/35ddnc0.jpg

this one is the city of Seattle, Washington,

from the top of the Space Needle.

and last but not least,

http://i28.tinypic.com/wsr0qc.jpg

this one i took on a plane to L.A., California,

and i'm not sure where i was,

all i know is to me, i can see where the earth runs out.

hope you like those, comment if you'd like =)

hfc;t;f <3

okay so basically i'm gonna stick with you forever.

like i don't care if you get that feeling like i'm a turd,

i know you can handle it, and i know you can deal,

becuase we have been for 7 years now.

dealing with each other's turdness.

like making canadians sound like idiots.

becuase we kind of are idiots,

me and you at least.

so i just wanna like say, that throughout everything that's happened to me lately, and in the past few months, and years, you've always been the person that i want to turn to. becuase you understand me and you know me so well. you know what's best for me, and sometimes even better than i know what's best for myself. you are more than just a friend to me. you're my sister. god didn't make us sisters becuase he knew that one mom and one dad wouldn't be able to handle us. i just want to let you know that no matter what happens i am always going to love you, and i am always going to be by your side. like honestly, no matter WHAT. becuase that's what i'm here for. to stick by you through thick and thin. you mean the world to me, and i hope you know that. i actually know that you know that. becuase we have this little thing, and it's called sister telepathy. i'm pretty happy we have it. so like to end this, (becuase if i don't soon i'll go on for a long time and start repeating myself), i love you so much, and no other person out there could ever take your place <3