we're all a mess you can tell

they say that once you get older you mature more. they say that you start to handle situations seriously and with dignity. i couldn't disagree more. what is this world? is it just mine? because the shit that constantly happens and the endless arguments are getting old. it seems like it's a bottomless pit of trivial arguments and things that aren't worth getting mad over. it's hard to be the middle power, the one trying to stand tall and hold everything up, when in reality youre the shortest. and even better, the worst part is there is no one to hold your hand. because you're supposed to be an adult and even the people who you thought could help, couldn't. because you're fucked. mentally, and emotionally fucked. you think you can do it but oh boy are you wrongly mistaken. you can't do shit all. it's a fight not worth fighting, not possible to fight. no one ends up a winner, everyone loses. no matter how hard you try it's not going to work out. once you get into this world, you learn slowly that trust is hard to come by. that people aren't always who they act to be, or seem to be. you may think you know them, and even if you've known them your whole life, they can change in an instant. back to the old person that you knew before. the monster inside them shows again and you realize that this whole time is was all a charade. everything tumbles down and you crash, everything crashes. it's all over. and sometimes i just want to quit.