this is kind of odd for me that i just want to blog. i'm bored, laying in bed, at 10:51PM, on which feels like not a normal night. work tomorrow at 7 in the morning, meaning i have to get up at like 6. which doesn't work for me. yet i can't get to sleep. i can't stop thinking. thoughts just rushing through my mind. just about one particular thing though. well, two, but within the same subject.
-negative.
why do i miss you? i know why, cause you were amazing. you still are amazing. i'm just missing out on it because i'm choosing to try and move on. but obviously it's not working if i find myself wanting to text you that "i miss you" and "im sorry" for things i haven't done. get out of my head. you don't belong in there anymore.
+positive.
you make me happier each day. sure i get pissed off when i don't talk to you LOL but when i finally do it's worth it. it's worth not talking to you for months. because there's never a time when you fail to make me laugh, or impress me, or anything positive. you are one of the highlights of my life right now. but it kills me that you're so far. everyday, before i go to bed i think of that one wish. i see 11:11 and i wish that same wish. every day. all the time. if i could have anything in the world right now, absolutley anything, i would wish that you would live here, or that i would live there. so i could be close to you. i could see your face and watch you laugh. so i could bug you and see your face turn red. this is cliche, and super lame because i dont "know" you, but you sort of mean a lot to me. a lot a lot. more than a lot of people that i actually do "know." i wouldn't trade you for anything. because i'd rather have one really amazing person in my life that lives so far, than have someone decent that lives close. if it weren't for you, i'd be so lost. one day.
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